Twenty eight years ago this month, I moved to Arizona. I graduated from high school in June, 1988, at 17 years old. I started ASU as a freshman that fall…still only 17 years old. Do you know I never moved back in full time with my parents? I think the fact that they lived, and still live, in Hawaii played a part in that, but probably not a huge part. When I was home I had to live under their rules and judgement. It was hard to go back to that after living on my own, and I never seriously considered it. My parents still live in the same house I grew up in…and my room is still my room…with my yellow painted childhood furniture. I am not going to lie, I love it. When I go home, I really go home.
My daughter is a senior this year. She will be 18 when she graduates, but she hopes to go to college in Washington state. But when she comes home for the holidays, she will want to come home…to her house, her room. Her brother will hopefully do the same a couple of years later. If either of them choose to go to college in state, they will come home more often, their room will need to be there for them.
Often when people are planning a move, and trying to decide what size home they need….they discuss their children. I used to hear more often that the kids would move out when they were 18…but more and more now parents are realizing that times are different. Our kids can’t really be expected to move out at 18, and not move back in. For many, they stay home while they are in college…no need to rack up the debt. For others the debt they do rack up leaves them too broke to support themselves, and they may be sick of roommates….and entry level jobs, even with a college education, pay so little it really doesn’t make that possible.
So, that brings me back to the question…how long do you think your kids will live with you? Word is…you should expect your kids to possibly still call your house their home until they are 27 years old. That is ten years longer than I did. So should you buy a house with this expectation? Well, like everything, it is up to you, and extremely personal, but I think I would. You want your kids to be able to land at home while they struggle with the current economy and their job choice, or lack of job, or while they go to school…maybe for the second time.
You don’t want to make your kids so comfortable that they don’t really ever consider moving out, but if they are working towards something…and need your support, you will probably want to give it to them. Does this mean you need to stay in the home they were raised in….forever? Like my parents? No! At least I don’t plan to stay in this house after the kids have moved out for college. I will downsize I think…my next house will be more about me, less about them….but there will be a bedroom for each of them.
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